PLACEBO: THIS SEARCH FOR MEANING, Directed by Oscar Samson.
I seek a numinous connection to all things. I can’t help it. Every life event or art experience needs to have a largely indefinable layer of resonance for me to want it. This search for meaning is sometimes referred to as a blessed curse. It is a way of saying that along with every stimulating insight or adventure, there is a reality you may not enjoy or, in extreme cases, survive. This stood out as a core theme of the Placebo documentary. The Press statement highlighted “the band’s ongoing impact and legacy through a visual meditation on contemporary themes such as surveillance, culture and scrutiny, sexuality and gender identity, addiction and trauma, as well as the climate crisis.” That is a long and mostly admirable list, yet my personal experience of the film reached into something further. I went to see it after a rehearsal with my new band, RMG, so I had my guitar. It’s easy to understand why I would feel self-conscious turning up to a rockumentary carrying a musical instrument. I hoped that if anyone did notice me slinking in, they wouldn’t think I had bought it along on purpose. I almost didn’t go, rehearsals are hard work, no, really. They can make you question your reasons for playing music when you have sore fingers and achy shoulders from holding solid wood for three hours, and mistakes are still made, mostly by me, the bassist and drummer learn their parts fast and will probably remember them forever. Then there’s the dream of creating the best show when you know you have another eight songs to complete before you do. You can feel turned on and terrified in equal measure. All of this was on my mind as I relaxed into the darkness and comfort of the beautiful little Mockingbird cinema in Digbeth, Birmingham and was touched by the hand of Brian Molko. He is a sensual God, a black-haired, painted-nailed pusher of pleasure, the best kind, a deep thinker for lovers of the free world. Molko promotes these ideals as his lyrical motif: be who you want to be, with whomever you wish to be with. This acceptance of difference on a grand scale sounds inviting, but remember that flip side? It still follows him. He confesses to being an introvert and a recovering addict. He loathes modern logic that has allowed the radical watchfulness of society by powers that hide their true intention. He is free to be himself, yes, but in a world he believes is being held hostage. So, where do people in this predicament go to have fun? Well, the cinema on a Friday night is a good start when viewing art of this weight and significance. There were about twenty of us in the house in total. I wished there were more. If you weren’t in the mood to think deeply, the experience of hearing the band through the big speakers, mostly playing live tracks from their 2022 album Never Let Me Go, with its heavy riffs, electronic elements and introspective lyrics, would be enough to turn you back into being who you truly want to be after a long day. The inspiration to be strong and brave is woven into your right brain during a dialogue between famous fans of the band and an omniscient interviewer. The film is a transfixing and illuminating odyssey of honesty in a world of deceit, and apart from the shock of finding out that Shirley Manson of Garbage wears Crocs, there was no point where I lost faith in the film's relevance. I have accepted that I will never be able to play the guitar like Brian, and how does he just stand there and make me emote so ecstatically? The band are the definition of the kind of experience I seek to enjoy and convey. They have that mysterious moreish-ness and are driven by forces you cannot buy or decide to have on your side. This specialness is a third element, an essence, that seems to be a selective given from some unknown. This is something they declare to be true during the film and say they do not understand but accept as their duty and purpose. They feel they must continue to be a part of the band under all circumstances. I spoke to a friend afterwards about the film, and his first response was to say that he hadn’t realised Placebo were so closely connected to David Bowie, yes, that’s true they were, but even more than that, they are connected to us now. Proof of this was in the way the audience stayed in their seats until the end of the credits and until the lights went up. They were plugged into something essential that they never wanted to end. Isn’t that how life is meant to be lived? I believe it is. I didn’t try to conceal my guitar on the way out.
You can follow RMG (Rachel Mayfield Group) on Instagram @RachelMayfieldGroup
You know where to find Placebo <3
